Category: Life Lessons

Assuming is mine. What is yours?

stop stop stopAs November has ended and December is here I want to share the other 3 STOP behaviors.  Last post I shared how WANTING can be a behavior to STOP.  The other 3 behaviors that, when stopped, bring a plethora of love and compassion to our lives.

HOLDING on to something or someone can be painful when we have to let go.  If pain and suffering occur then we need to let go of that HOLDING behavior.  Some of us hold on to things.  Other of us hold on to beliefs, and many of us hold on to people.   Again, holding on to people, things etc. is fine unless we feel pain and suffering when we have to let go.   I want to make something clear here.  When we hold on to a person, maybe a partner, and we have to let go for whatever reason, we will often feel pain.  But, the pain and suffering I am talking about is when our lives become unlivable.

ASSUMING is my hardest behavior to stop.  I can think of all kinds of reasons but the fact is that I assume things that, at times, cause pain and suffering.   For example, during the holidays if someone doesn’t come to my gathering I assume they don’t like me and I feel pain.  Another example of assuming that I am working on is I assume silence with someone means I’m boring and I feel uncomfortable and sad.  I am working on stopping these assumptions daily and I must say life is much easier and joyful.

The last STOP behavior that we need to watch is MONITORING.  When we monitor others’ behaviors etc. we can cause pain and suffering for them and us.  As parents we often want to monitor everything our children do and say.  It is important to watch out for our children but we need to be careful not to be “helicopter” parents.  It can cause pain and suffering for everyone involved.  We know our children and know what we need to keep and eye on.  Let the rest go.  Some of us monitor our colleagues, neighbors, competition at work etc.  If pain and suffering happens because of that, STOP doing it.

Finally, when we are feeling pain and suffering and not sure why, I suggest taking a look at those 4 STOP behaviors (WHAM).  Most of the time we are doing one or more of them.  Stopping them will give us the opportunity to change our lives from fear to love.

Now, many of you have mentioned how do we do that.  How do we stop those behaviors?  Honestly, simply stopping them is what needs to happen.  However, there are 5 Laws of Life to follow that will make stopping those behaviors easier and will bring love and compassion back into our lives.

  1. The Law of intent. statement-of-intentionGet into the habit and looking and what you say and asking  yourself  “What is my intention…” of saying or doing that. If it comes from love, then you know your intention is true.  If not, then that means that is a behavior to stop.
  2. The Law of possibility.  We need to remember anything is possible once we set our intention and if it comes from love and compassion. possibilities Don’t limit yourself or others.  For example, if you are monitoring someone and judging her choices by thinking that will never happen remember the law of possibility.
  3. The law of choice.  You ALWAYS have a choice even if it is not to do anything.  You have a choice to stop a behavior or not.  You have a choice to come from love or fear.
  4. The Law of giving.  The act of giving is very powerful and when done from love and compassion will make this world a better place.
  5. The Law of trust.  We need to trust that everying is just the way it is supposed to be even if we don’t understand it. trust When we can let go of those STOP behaviors each day and trust we are truly living a life filled with love and compassion.

I hope this helps you have a joy filled holiday season.  It is helping me each day.







I am taking some risks lately and am reminded of this wonderful poem by William Ward.   It supports the Five Laws of Life (Living From Your Heart) that I practice daily and my choices throughout this time of my life.    I thought it might be relevant to you.  


To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To live is to risk dying,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest   hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,

But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;

And the realist adjusts the sails.

-William Arthur Ward


What I Learned From My Trip

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My daughter and I took a trip to parts of Europe for 16 days.  It was an unforgettable trip.  I saw and learned many things. Eiffel Tower  One of the wonderful insights that I became aware of is that we all are the same.  I was around people from all parts of the world.  We are the same.  We may be on different journeys but we are no different than each other.  Each of us has a family, dreams, fears, and desires. I saw some beautiful clothes that I had never seen before.  I smelled and tasted foods that were foreign to me.  I heard melodic languages from all parts of the world.  The one common characteristic that I noticed was the smile.  We all do it and it means the same in every culture.


Sometimes when we are in our comfort zone and the people around us are our family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers we forget that there are so many other people in the world with different cultures (foods, beliefs, transportation, clothing etc.).   Mont St. Michel 2On my trip, I saw such a variety of cultures that my eyes were open again to the fact that we are all the same.  We are all spirits on this human journey.

I hope that I can hold on to this awareness until my next international trip.  Until then I will smile as much as I can.

Our spirits need to rise up…​

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I have been absent from blogging for a while because I moved, started my second book, and have been disturbed by what is going on in my country.   Today another school shooting occurred.   Fear is becoming a way of life for so many children.   Right now the only thing I feel I can do is to pray for the children, families and all that are affected by each shooting.  I can also send hopeful, loving energy to all of us.  Finally, I will not sit quietly when conversations occur about what is happening in the  White House, gun control, and anything that challenges the compassionate part of our human race.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience and the spiritualness of each of us needs to rise up like the phoenix and spread its wings of compassion over this country and this planet.