Category: Challenges

Let’s have a wonderful holiday season!

Today is the beginning of the holiday season for my family.  We have a wonderful breakfast, decorate the tree while watching the Macy’s parade.  Maybe a drive down the coast or a walk on the beach in the afternoon.  Then, after a fun day together we have a nice traditional dinner together.  This is the joyous beginning of our holidays but there will probably be some stressful times in the next several weeks.

Trying to get the best gifts within your budget, seeing family, friends, and colleagues when you might not want to see all of them, having a busy Christmas Day with family or chosen family, or being alone can trigger thoughts and actions that do not come from love.

I want to take this time to remind myself and others how to bring more love and compassion to these weeks and less judgement, fear, and frustration.

LOVE

There are four STOP behaviors that when stopped can bring joy and peace to your holidays and, hopefully, the days beyond.  If we stop these behaviors our lives will be more joyful and loving:  WANTING, HOLDING, ASSUMING, and MONITORING (WHAM).

Today, I want to talk about WANTING.  When we don’t get what we want whether it’s a thing or a person’s actions etc. and we feel pain, anger, sadness etc. then it is a WANTING that need to stop.  During the holidays we may want all our family to be together and some of them are going somewhere else.  That may create pain in the form of judgement, jealousy, or anger, for example.  If that happens STOP WANTING all of the family to be together and enjoy who is present.

You may want to get something that is out of your budget for your partner and you feel pain (anger, frustration, jealousy, etc.).  That is another WANT to STOP and get a gift within your budget that you know will be enjoyed.

Another want that often occurs is wanting someone to be happy during the holidays and he or she isn’t.  We are sad because that person isn’t happy.  We feel pain and suffering becaue we want someone who is unhappy to be happy.  That is a WANT to STOP.  We can be with that person and try to share our happiness but we cannot be attached to him or her being happy.  Wanting is fine if it doesn’t trigger pain and suffering.

Happiness keyWhen you STOP WANTING your life will be filled with love, happiness, and peace.  Those behaviors that used to be triggered by your wanting not being fulfilled just slowly disappear as you practice stopping them.  There will be much more peace in each day. Peace in the sand

Check back in a week and I will talk about the behavior of HOLDING and how it can cause pain and suffering.  Stopping that behavior can open doors to love and compassion.

RISK

RISK

 

 

I am taking some risks lately and am reminded of this wonderful poem by William Ward.   It supports the Five Laws of Life (Living From Your Heart) that I practice daily and my choices throughout this time of my life.    I thought it might be relevant to you.  

 RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To live is to risk dying,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest   hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,

But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;

And the realist adjusts the sails.

-William Arthur Ward