If we want to live more compassionately and more cooperatively in this world we need to stop certain behaviors. We need to stop these behaviors when doing them causes you or others pain and suffering. Wanting, holding, assuming and monitoring are all behaviors that can cause suffering and pain. If you find you are doing these behaviors and causing others or yourself suffering STOP!
It is fine to want, hold, assume or monitor to a point. It is a problem when your life or others is affected negatively by doing them.
Instead, breathe, ask yourself what your intention is, make a choice to stop and trust.